in dreams Although sex is symbolised in many dreams, where it appears directly it shows that the dreamer is able to accept their sexual urges and hurts more easily. What is then imponant is to attempt an understanding of what setting or drama the sexual element occurs in. Our psychological and sexual natures, like our physical, never stand still in development unless a pain or problem freezes them at a particular level of maturity. Therefore our sexual dreams, even if our sex life is satisfactory, show us what growth, what new challenge, is being met.
Example: My lover was standing behind me, and John, my husband, was standing in front of me. I was asking John to have sex with me and at the same time thinking, “Oh, hell, if he does he will think we have something going between us.” I felt no flow towards John but felt somehow I was trying to tell my lover that I was desirable’ (Sally A). Sally’s dream needs no interpretation. Such clear dreams show that Sally is ready to be directly aware of what she is doing in her relationships.
If the sex in the dream is deeply symbolised, it suggests the dreamer is less willing to be aware of their motivations or connected painful feelings. Even though Sally’s dream was clear, it was still dealing with an area of her sexuality she was not clearly conscious of.
If she had been aware, it is doubtful whether she would have dreamt it.
Example: ‘I was in a farmyard.
A small boy climbed all over the bull. It became terribly angry. It had been chained without attention too long. Now it tore away and sought the cows.
The gates were closed, but the bull smashed through the enclosing fence. I rushed to the fence and sat astride it, but on seeing that the bull smashed it like match wood, I looked around for some safe place.
The bull charged the first cow to mount it, but so terrible was its energy and emotion that it could not express as sex. It smashed the cow aside as it had done the fence. Then it rushed the next and tossed it over its head, charging and smashing the next. I climbed into somebody’s garden, trying to get out of the district’ (Arthur J). Although this dream depicts Arthur’s chained’ sexual drive using the bull, it is still fairly obvious.
If we consider the setting and plot of the dream, as suggested above, we see that Arthur is desperately trying to avoid responsibility for, or trying to escape, his own sexual drive—figuratively ‘sitting on the fence’.
Example: ‘My husband and I were walking down a road. We were going in the same direction together. I started to sing with a very happy feeling but then felt I should stop because he would say the happiness was because I had had sex. I sensed he knew what I was thinking as I walked along. He then quietly began to sing and the dream ended with me smiling to myself. We had sexual cut off for four weeks but had made love that afternoon’ (Joan W). In talking about this dream Joan said she felt it slightly embarrassing to admit that sex gave her feelings of happiness. She liked to believe she was perfectly happy without it. It is probably out of the slight conflict between her conscious attitude and her feeling of well-being after sex that the dream was produced. See animals; adolescent; affair; devil, Christ, Shadow under archetypes; bag; banana; bed; example in bite; black person; breasts and penis under body; bud; candle; cane; castration; ceremony, ritual; clothes; compensatory theory; cuckoo; cup; dam; dance; third example in danger; defence mechanisms; dragon; drum; emotions, mood; ejaculation; second example under evil; founh example under husband in family; feelings; homosexuality; horns; hostility; example in door under house, buildings; hypnosis and dreams; insects; jungle; kiss, left, right; lift; second example under light; man; masturbation; mirror; murder; nest; oval; pole; prostitute; purse; rape; refrigerate; religion and dreams; first example under reptiles; sadism; sex while asleep; wordplay, puns. ... A Guide to Dreams and Sleep Experiences